I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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