There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
