Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I made him laugh his dick is mine
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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