dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
