I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
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