i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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