she was so not down for the gang bang
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
