HIV tests are more positive than that guy
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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