I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
