Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize