what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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