Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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