Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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