When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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