I want leopard sheets
thats the plan
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions