names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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