I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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