We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
