The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
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That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
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I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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