Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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