i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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