but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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