The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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