so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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