My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
