I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
you never un-have a 4some