I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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