Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
