I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Randomize
