We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
