Umm I'm too high to move.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
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She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
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When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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