obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
