i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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