where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
