I only kidnapped one of them. chill
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
