I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
We have started to decorate penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize