Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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