She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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