Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
