All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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