Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
