Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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