if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
