i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Let's get the cat blown out
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
