Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I came so hard my ears popped.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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