In the future we'll all be gay
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize