That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
