Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
