There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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