happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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