nut hugger
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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