Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
