Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
