Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
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