oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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