I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
