Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize