Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
