I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
