Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
